Chalmerwocky

Scott Ryan, a friend and philosophical mentor, was kind enough to write the following poem for me based on my post "Conceivability, Consciousness and the Content of Belief" and Lewis Carroll's Poem "Jabberwocky".  In his words:

"Written for Jason Zarri, who's taking on an argument of David Chalmers in a paper he's writing for a graduate philosophy course at San Francisco State University."

Thanks Scott! 

And now, without further ado, I present:

Chalmerwocky

'Twas swillig, and the lively lads
Did gyre and gimble round the bar;
All tipsy were the Student-Grads,
As the pee-zombies are.

"Beware the Chalmer! Don't evade
The Problem Hard of Consciousness;
The arguments so far you've made
Are dubious. Acquiesce!"

He took his Vorpal Ale in hand;
Long time he toted round his beer
To seek his foe, and finally manned
A table in the rear.

And, as his uffish beer he drank,
The Chalmer, with its mind aflame,
Came whiffling through the tavern dank,
And argued as it came!

(1), (2)! (1), (2)! "Not true, not true!"
Both premises he thus denied.
He scotched the myth, departing with
The Chalmer's zombie hide.

"And hast thou slain its argument?
Come to my arms; embrace thou me!
O thesis fine! O thought divine!"
He'd earned his Ph.D.

'Twas swillig, and the lively lads
Did gyre and gimble round the bar;
All tipsy were the Student-Grads,
As the pee-zombies are.